Let’s take a small step away from the Bronze Punk genre and delve into relativity. Whether you’ve never thought about the nature of the universe before or feel the need to brush up on the basics of relativity, we’re about to get introduced to a fantastic little teacher who’ll help us better snap all the cosmological building bricks together.

Perhaps, like many people that have enjoyed reading my Chaoticum novellas, you’re intrigued or even puzzled by the nature of this strange new world I describe.

Though Chaoticum certainly begins as high fantasy with strange magic, terrible monsters and inexplicable events galore, at its core beats a heart of pure science. In fact, as the story progresses, the underlying physics and mathematics play an ever bigger role, especially in the branches of the saga that cross over into Hard Sci-fi.

However, if we can’t appreciate the subtle differences between the physics of our own world and that of the Chaoticum, then we are at a real risk of frustration and confusion spoiling our enjoyment of the story.

The electric street-lamp may indeed be ignored – J.R.R.Tolkien

I struggled to understand relativity for the longest time. In fact, I am still not sure I’ve managed it completely. All I can promise with any certainty is that, of all the teachers I have had, [ironically, as we shall later learn] one stands head and shoulders above the rest. The secret to this uniquely successful teaching style is actually quite simple, and characterised by an absolute and utter lack of effort.

Without lectures, textbooks or homework [in fact, I am not even entirely sure he’s fully aware of our existence] this singularly discrete fellow taught me through example. Simply by letting me watch his humble existence, things began to make more and more sense. Split into multiple episodes, I shall relate to you the notes I made whilst watching him.

So, without further ado, let this hero of the classroom step forward into the limelight.

Hello Dot!…..

Well say hello then…..

Ah yes! Perhaps, I should have warned you in advance, Dot is rather quirky. For instance, despite being an excellent teacher, he doesn’t speak. Never has and likely never will. Now, please be assured that deep down he’s a pleasant enough character, it’s not that he’s being rude or arrogant or anything. It’s just that he happens to be a bit….. simple.

Now, I certainly don’t mean this in any derogatory way. As I have explained before, I have the greatest of respect and admiration for Dot. Indeed, it is his very simplicity that makes all he has done so very impressive. Starting with almost nothing, he has achieved a great deal. Therefore, if we are to celebrate him as an equal, we must embrace the truth of his simplicity.

Dot is a one-dimensional node of mass!

There, doesn’t it feel better now we have that out in the open? I’m sure you agree, this is nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed about really. After all, why should one person be considered better than another simply because they are in possession of a greater number of physical dimensions? Why can’t we welcome sizeless beings into society? Are they really less fortunate than the multi dimensional or have they actually been gifted with an invaluably un-cluttered perspective on the tangle of Space-Time?

Anyway, all that aside, as a one-dimensional node of mass, Dot can’t speak. He lacks the physiological complexity needed to formulate speech, or any sound at all for that matter.

More to follow….

Comment with all your thoughts and suggestions, I look forward to reading them all and having a lively discussion.

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